Wednesday, March 24, 2010


Yeah...that's me literally SCREECHING.

I just found out that by 2014 I am going to be PENALIZED for not having insurance.

My EMPLOYER is exempt from offering me insurance, b/c I am one of 2 employees.

Because I am single, even though my income is lightly moderate, I am outside the 'safe range' of the FPL.

My annual PENALTY for NOT RACKING UP MEDICAL BILLS or using the medical system will be approx $695-750. *side note: I have NEVER had insurance & I have NEVER spent that much in one year for health care bills.*

& that's just ONE part of this wonderful BILL that is going to FUCK ME OVER. But you know who it helps? The ghetto. The low-incomers. The people we are ALREADY working our asses off to support.

I'm so SICK TO DEATH of this NEW USA & it's fucking CHANGE.
I'm SICK of fucking OBAMA & the CHANGE TROOPS.

I thought Bush was horrid. I thought it couldn't possibly get any worse. I was wrong. Shoulda left the continent back then when I had age & naiivity on my side. I'd drink myself to sleep except I can't afford to risk liver damage in my late years. FUUUUUUUUUCK.

p.s. no offense to any of my friends who support our President. I don't specifically have issue with HIM, just his policies. Most of all, I guess I'm just frustrated that this whole thing is getting rushed into place just b/c he promised it. I mean, really...Health Care Reform has been desperately needed for a long while now, but rushing to push it out JUST BC he promised it is NOT a good enough reason to get it done in this way. There are SO many BIGGER issues that are being ignored. I don't even think I was this frustrated with G.Dub. And he was a Class-1 Grade A Dumbshit.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Fresh Start March...WTF?

I've been on this weird radical eff'd up journey over the last year or so. I wish I could calm my sensory overload long enough to write about it, but the truth of the matter is that I'm still fully experiencing all of it. Who the hell wants to stop the ride just to indulge some voyeuristic tendencies?! LOL

That being said, it is definitely time to get back to business.

My weight hasn't budged in 6 months, although I've lost 2 pants sizes. And I'm really not that much better off emotionally, financially or spiritually than I was a year ago. Truth be told, I might as well have just offed myself because all I've done in the last 365 days of my "rebirth" is take up space. Oh yeah, btw, today is the one year anniversary of the day I nearly removed myself from the gene pool in a fairly permanent sort of manner (no accounting for reincarnation, mind you).

Meh. Perhaps it's the flu talking. Perhaps I'm just bored. Angst is always good fodder for the creativity gods. Eff it. I'm not too proud to admit that I'm not special. That's probably been the biggest realization of the last year, for me. All my life I was groomed to be "something" and in the end, it's come to light that I am truly just "nothing different" at all. LOL I wonder if my mother can realize that from wherever she's at now. A lot of good all that prodding, poking, bitching and destruction of my self-esteem did. And for her own, regarding horrible parenting skills she thought my failures proved--which is complete bullshit because anyone who knew her knows what a decent soul she really was. I'm not sure I'll ever understand why she chose to torture herself via my childhood incarnation. Because in the end, we both failed. She just got to leave the party earlier.