pissed for the fall (13 mar 09)

Make it stop. Just go. All the memories; all the fantasies; Go Away. Pain, Pain Go Away. Go Fuck Yourself and bleed to death, I am sick of you haunting me. I want to be whole and you can't stay here with me so why don't you go torture someone else. Leave me be! Pain, pain -- go fucking drown. I don't care when, just get there now. Fuck this life and all the ones who tried for all these years to keep me down! I hate you all for what you've done. You're bags o' shit, watch you run like chocolate milk when the rain pours down. You can't help me cuz you called in the rain. Kiss my ass stupid fucked up brain of mine. I wish you'd atrophy, oh wait, then I'd die... Eh fuck it. I'm ok with that, I guess. Better than dealing with all this mess. Fuck you world, you don't own me! (I wish that were true...oh damn, Fuck Me)

breaking down (12 mar 09)

Anything. Nothing. Something. Everything.
Dehydration eroding any meager
assemblance of life thriving.

exhaustion. fall past your knees,
straight to the feet. assemble a grand
mass at the base of thine eyes.

helter skelter bo belter, and
all the pretty horses,
pack a ring of roses,
then all calm down.

grasping. 3rd Installment

"devoid"

I write better in the dark;
my pen unrestrained
by staunch lines and perfect spacing;
Much like how I live my life;
Swirling and twirling in the depths
of the unknown,
Comforted by the silky
obsidian reflections,
nurtured by the deep flesh
of the void fruit;
Many a day have I wasted
productive in the sunlight,
when all my hearts desires
are of the warmth of night's cloak.

grasping. 2nd installment

"Finger Hourglass"

Try to find the words
to say my minds perception,
but how can one without a rhyme
succeed in defining perfection?

-+-+-+-

Why am I so afraid
of your offers packaged in
that devilish twinkle of your eye
and turned corners of an impish grin?

-+-+-+-

You were my wish, granted.
True, I cried for your arrival;
so why now is it Fairy Tale,
I find my biggest rival?

grasping. 1st installment.

"At the start of Forever"

close my eyes but for a moment;
the shadow of your face,
and the only thing i can see
is the scent of your grace;
filling my soul
with the electric fluttering
of a thousand
butterfly kisses, plus one;

jump feet first into the melted
chocolate abyss of your eyes,
sink to the bottom
swirling in the sweet silkiness;
shoot to the surface,
at the insistence of gravity;
pass carelessly through
the knots of the dreamcatcher, laughing;

dance like an Imp on the furrows
of your swollen plum lip,
sugar cane tracings
twirling up tiny candy threads;
tickle my soul
with the caress of your strength,
love of a life;
a dream from which I dare not wake.
©KC08

Vitriol

GOD!
Just get the fuck away from me!
Can't you see?
You're stressing me out!
What the fuck is your issue,
Just Go!
Get out of my house.
Get out of my head.
And sure as hell
get the fuck out of my bed.
You made your choice
with the words you said
and the ice in your heart.
I'm done with you now.
So why won't you just go.

P.S. Thanks for the kids.
Fuck You.

Being, 3rd installment

"don't save me"

gazing over the edge,
the abyss reels me in.
no fight left in me,
I succumb, to my knees.

The black cloud swirls around
whistling an odd lullaby
and the matte reflection below
comforts, like home.

With every apathetic breath,
he filters through my very chest
the rush of death pulsing my veins
the false life-force, i once longed for.

(c)KF07

Being, 2nd installment

"24Jun05" aka "Float"

as I close my eyes & sink below the surface
the bubbly waves smack my nose island,
tickling the unblanched perimeter of her beaches,
underneath
I feel
no pressure
no hurry
no noise invades my space or time
floating, drifting...away.
(c)KF05

Being, 1st installment

"subjugation"

Deadwood.
in the doldrums of the sea,
the pain of defeat
numbs me
to the core
my unmarked shore
screams "Walk on ME!"
to no avail
and so I run
with tucked tail
and broken wings
to my deepest. darkest. isolation.
to cut away the cancer
that eats away my soul
to dare a dream of a day;
a life without these holes.

(c)KF07

Letting Go -- 3rd Installment

"4Nov05"

hands
hands
lips.
on my face

my face
his face
steal my breath

dreams
foolish goals
this caged bird.
mute.

(C)KF06

Letting Go -- 2nd Installment

"4.4.05" aka "Death's Lustful Grip"

I can't do this anymore.
I can't talk to you again.
It's just too hard
to convince myself
that I don't love you
anymore.
Turn my face into a pillow
hoping somehow
to hide my shame;
to have you again
as we were,
so beautiful in you.
so happy in me,
but this isn't real
merely a dream;
fantasy.
blasphemy.
I can't keep you here.
We're not real.
Yet I survive
embraced in your chains;
take them away.
please leave,
I need to be free
of us.
of Us!
of us, I fear
the day would come
where torture ends & love begins. (c)KF05

Letting Go -- 1st installment

"Feb 5th"

They loved each other once
in that place so long ago;
but no more.
no more foolish dreams;
no more restless nights;
no more waiting for the time
because the time is now!
Time to let go.
it isn't alive anymore,
only a memory;
what was true once,
is history now.
Goodbye.
for the last time.
She loved you well.
But you can't haunt me anymore.
(c)KF05

"A Secret Admirer" (written 2003)

In twists & curls winding down her curves,
skin, sweet flesh; drink in life,
revitalize me in her night;
held captive by the way the ebb & flows undulate
sneak a glimpse of love's pure bliss
in a kiss, tranquil and light.

(c)KF03

"No Resistance" (written 2003)

Swim thru thickness
breath with no resistance
peace lives here
chaos fails to break thru.

Ignorant bliss,
turning rolling twists
thru my compact sea,
within me I fail to see,
the child longs, to swim free.

Never knew drowning
felt like birth;
Confusion should lie here,
masked, by serenity.
(c)KF03

TC On...the purpose of another blog...

I have blogs all over this world-wide-whackjob...and none of them are comprehensive. This one is going to house my crappy poetry, musings, and other various writings & maybe some art work, should I get the opportunity to scan stuff in. I have been hesitant to share my work on the internet because I know how easy it is to steal something, especially something that's not well-known or previously published. I'm not saying my stuff is even good enough to want to steal, but it's still mine and therefore, I'm cautious. This is my heart, my life and my soul, poured out on the sidewalk for you to walk on, stare at and critique.

Speaking of critique: As an artist, and yes I do consider myself an artist in life, I am willing to receive and accepting of criticism. However, if you just get up here and say, "This sucks." I'm going to ignore it, because "this sucks" doesn't help me grow it into something better. Inversely, don't tell me "this is awesome", etc if it isn't, because that doesn't help either.

My name is Hekaterina Ricci, and this is my soul, for your entertainment.