Wednesday, June 13, 2012


My life lately. Talk about annoying. I recently started meditating daily in an effort to calm my brain & try to sort out some of this internal chaos. My current relationship seems to be some sort of cruel joke-test by the Universe. But really, when is it time to tell the proctor to eff-off?

I wish I could say that I'm just pissy because I was awakened at 6:30am after an extremely fitful night's sleep (thank you & fuck off very much gluten) by getting my arm kicked repeatedly because it was touching his side of the bed & consequently, his leg. [OASN: yes. I sometimes sleep at the foot of the bed when I can't sleep. Habit of childhood. I read somewhere once that it's an intuitive way of shutting off the spiritual/mental receptors. I don't know how true that is, but it's always worked for me & no one ever suggested it, so maybe... At any rate, this severely annoys him, & he's actually the first to take issue with it. So maybe he should piss off, not me...?]

Maybe it IS me. Maybe I've just outgrown him & his Peter Pan ways. I found them endearing when I was spiritually wrecked from my last serious relationship, when I seriously didn't want a damned thing to do with permanency, true love, family or anything else that could render me vulnerable beyond repair. But that was 3 years ago, and I find myself craving true intimacy.

1 comment:

Honestly_Alive said...

"My current relationship seems to be some sort of cruel joke-test by the Universe."

Oh how I empathize with this statement!